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Friday, 21 December 2012

Met Lois on Thursday...

And it was utterly terrible! I don't know why I didn't feign an illness or something. She keeps going on about podiatry and all of the university offers she has and about our old school... ARGGGHHHH! She is a drain on the brain quite literally! I was far more worried about getting my Christmas presents rather last minute but she wanted to drag around Cheam when I wanted to go to the nearest Farmfoods in Sutton and see what offers they had on chicken fillets or at worst turkey. Over the past few days I have been buying loads of custard, gattaeu, ice cream, chips and pizzas. Yummmy! This is all to help with my diabetic studies by the way guys... I don't eat this all for fun! *burp*
I bought a Chrsitmas card for Lois but didn't realise until I got home that it was a brail card! I set her a test to find out what was different about it when I gave it to her. Of course she failed miserably as you'd expect from someone who has had to retake year 12... the IQ tends to take a bashing...

We went to Sutton and sat in the shopping center, but there was this annoying noise the whole time and Lois said she was going mental keep listening to it which was rather surprising to hear as I was under the impression that she is already half-way there. We then went round the Eden  craft place that was a tent set-up in the high street with all Christmas gift things. I told Lois about the man who was selling liquid soap the other day; he just took my hand and squirted some of the soap on it and left it all slimy. D: Euurgh! I was not at all amused :(

We are going to Hyde Park Winter Wonderland tomorrow... I found out that that creepy mechanical santa above is actually in the place we are going to tomorrow D: If I see it, I will set Lois on it.
Oh gosh... I just hope she manages to control herself at this place. Apparently it is going to tip it down with rain so I hope she won't keep jumping in puddles and soaking me :( I have over 2 hours on the tube with her... pity me!

I won't be on over Christmas but I will wish all of my devoted Cynturians a great holiday and a lovely new year! Which reminds me... I still don't have any presents for my mum, dad or sister. :S I blame Lois as we were meant to be looking for something in Sutton! I guess now I will have to get them New Years gifts instead of Christmas ones! I have had no chance since getting back from uni so far because junk food cannot buy itself :) *sigh* I miss uni so much... at least everything is sane there. I wonder how Professor Vampire spends its Christmas. Does it stay in a coffin all day long and dissect thing over the festive season? Do vampires even celebrate Christmas? I must ask some Twilight maniacs about this- you can find plenty around here. In fact I am noticing that Keele is far more intellectual than Sutton is. With types like Lois around what do you expect?

I feel the call of a mince pie and turkey and stuffing sandwich, so will log-off now. Take care my fan club :)

Friday, 7 December 2012

Emergency Update!

This is an emergency update!

It has come to my attention via BBC news that dogs in New Zealand... ARE LEARNING TO DRIVE!!!!!!

I have evidence here!!

As you well know, I am terrified of dogs, and now they are going to be driving cars! Be very afraid! I am scared at how quickly it has gone from dog being mans best freind to wanting to run them over in a car. I mean, after all. How do dogs understand pelican crossings, roundabouts and traffic lights. Plus, if they see a cat or bird or squirel, will they drive across a dual carrigeway just to get it?  This surely is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse!

Sunday, 2 December 2012

Its coming home, its coming home, its coming! Christmas is coming home!


Hi guysss! It is now only 23 days until Christmas!!!!! Or crimbo day as I prefer to call it :) I am organising to go to Hyde Park Winter Wonderland with Lois in a few weeks, but sadly 'T' can't come on the day :( Who can I hit with my bag now? Plus, what if Lois has one of those energy drinks like Monster and goes crazy like she has done before? True story here people: I went to a park with Lois and she had an energy drink. She had only drunk half and went crazy. She thought a tree looked like Gandalf from lord of the rings and was laughing hysterically at a pigeon just flying about. How can a tree look like that person there? Then we had a kung fu fight and then a Pirates of the Caribbean style fight with twigs. Fun times! I will probably have to leave her in the kindergarten area if she goes mental- she acts like a two year old if she has too much energy. Just remember what I told you about the chilli eating 'competition' at Jimmy Spice's.... It says that the Magical Ice Kingdom is cold at -8C but would that be cold enough to store chicken fillets? Or even scampi bites... I don't know how cold our freezer thing is... but if you take something out of it, it looks as though it has just come out of the ice age. Will I freeze if I go to the Magical Ice Kingdom? Anyways, how can it be magical? Surely they are only ice sculptures. I'm sure Lois will have no problems going in there in just a T-shirt as she freakishly never gets cold.
I know she has bought me a present but I haven't had the chance to go to any shops apart from Tescos online and Morrissons. I wonder if she would like to have a BOGOF packet of chicken... although on seconds thoughts, perhaps turkey to be seasonal. :D D: But how would I wrap it up? hmm.... Tin foil can be seasonal can't it? Just wrap the turkey up in that, put tin foil round it and perhaps put a little bow on top! She must learn about student life!

Write again soon my little Cynturians! :D

Monday, 19 November 2012

Stupid signs

Not been on much, especially TSR as I tend to procrastinate a lot :( I have also nicied-up my blog's appearance (just to annoy people by making it lag :p)

I saw a really stupid sign on the Daily Mail:

It makes me wonder what it is coming to in today's society if we can't even spell a simple word like school corectly. :(

I Googled and found this one as well:
What kind or irresponsible doggy owner would let their dog ride a bike? Also, how do the paws reach the pedals, unless they are special dog-bikes... I shall Google them. *Back!* I have an interesting video for you guys...


I can't actually find anyone who makes bikes for dogs but then again, as this video shows, they can use a kids bike. But why would they want to...???  Whatever next? Well! I found a terrifying advert that might explain what happens if dogs get just too clever...

Maybe soon dogs will become man's best friend as they can text and ride bikes and do other stuff that previously only humans could actually do! Terrifying thought... 

Another terrifying thing; I just read on the Fox News site about these worms that have sharp little teeth and can live in a human for up to 15 years! They can go into any organ in the body they like and quite literally eat you :S Though you can only really get it by eating things like sushi that aren't prepared properly. Still scary stuff though!
I have included a few more photos of dogs doing human things... prepare to be afraid!

This really isn't normal guys.... it won't be long before they take over the world, start serving in your local Sainsburys! Which reminds me, I must get another packer of marshmallows with my next online order... Where was I? Oh, yes. Do not dress your dog up, don't let them play on your Playstation or computer and don't let them ride bikes! It isn't natural...

Tuesday, 13 November 2012

I can't do maths D:

Hello my army of Cynturians!
Have been very busy having to demolish over ten packets of chocolate digestives, which Tescos over-delivered with my order the other day. As I am a student, I don't want to see them going to waste ... *burp*. As Lois has said, I must keep up to date with my diabetic studies and with 86 calories per biccy, I'd imagine the sugar would go off the Richter scale.

I was thinking about how similar Captain Birdseye looks to Santa Claus:
both have weird beards and moustaches that are white. Both always seem very jolly as well, all though I don't see why Captain Birdseye is that happy, after all, he must ponk of fish if that is what he is selling...
Also they both have daft hats and uniforms... although I am rather temped to call Santa's garb an over-sized dressing gown. I am now starting to doubt that Santa and Captin Ponky-Birdseye are actually either a) brothers or b) the same person. Which begs the question, if the latter is true then does this Santa-Captain-Duo thingy ride around the skies delivering presents on a giant fish finger?

Anyway, just had a funny five minutes, I'm sure it is due to too much sugar in my blood. I don't really know the technical terms as after all, I haven't been listening in my lectures; how can you when more pressing matters such as Captain Birdseye are on your bonce? I know Prof. Vampire said that it was to do with the glyciemic-doo-dah... I'll ask Lois as she does biology, when she can be bothered and stop harassing me about chickens.
That reminds me! She went away for the weekend to some place called the Trout Inn and came back sending me random and blurred photos of chickens. Too many units of alcohol I presume...
She also sent me some random picture of her dog's fat knose, even though she knows I am scared of dogs.

Actually I also don't like:
Chickens (except for digesting)
Butterflies- there is a story with this as well. Went with a family member to London Zoo and went into the Butterfly Farm but had to run away to the exit as there wasn't an inch of that place where there weren't any butterflies. It terrified me for life and I am now a different person and constantly suffer from flashbacks...
Add turtles, fish and all anphiboans to the list and I think that is enough to outline my animal fear. I honestly don't know what nature invented them for unless it is to scare me. Who needs and ECG to check that your heart is functioning?

Post more soon :D
Still have some biccies left so might make a scampi-digestive crumble mix. Yummy :)

p.s. Too many scampi bites affecting the brain;  have just told Lois that Christmas is in 4 weeks and a few days when it is actually 6!